So we've just had to jump over site and work that one off.
Can a cop car cop car off guard there a little bit.
No we hadn't planned that last conversation and we will never do that for demonstration purposes in
this course.
We want to give you as real time and experience as what we're able to know.
Bear in mind that we've been creating these courses for quite a couple of years so if you watch one
of the earlier versions of this course and you'll see that it is very very different from what it is
this time round.
That is because I have developed as a coach of deepened and my understanding and current is obviously
matured and this is just a proof to show that we're all growing and we're all changing and improving
all of the time.
So breakthrough sessions are just one means through which we can give our clients this experience.
All right.
No just just a few a few words here.
And it's not that I would ever really engage in a personal breakthrough with session that I hadn't already
had at least one or two and really open and honest conversations with first and foremost.
All right.
Remember we're looking to make sure that the standard is in place we need to know that our client is
open receptive and appreciative of the growth experience that they're getting if not all right.
I personally wouldn't be willing to expose myself to a client that I wasn't confident would be able
to answer the tougher questions.
All right.
It's an asking the tougher questions that really provokes are inclined to consider their life and their
perspective from all viewpoints.
They mean that not have previously looked at them from.
All right.
So we need to have our level of trust in the relationship first and foremost.
But we can have a breakthrough session after session one or two.
All right.
Again you just want to gauge that.
So based on the rapport and the trust develop with your client in the first couple of sessions.
All right.
So I'd like to see a personal breakthrough session us pretty much the official start of the relationship
and allows us to get there to the sticking point to the main issue to the main problem.
All right.
So that we can help our client just to identify the main factor that's actually preventing him or her
from actually doing the things that he or she wants to be doing and taking the action steps that he
or she wants to be taken and ultimately make and the progress that he or she wants to be making.
So in current case it seems that it wasn't little confidence that there was there was the issue.
It was virtually apathy which as we acknowledged is just an expression of laziness.
Oh my goodness.
Karen was responsible for for not doing the things that she wanted to do.
It wasn't Mr. confidence his fault or hard being insufficient or something like that.
It was actually her choice to hold back and refrain.
So that's the context.
The rest is history.
You've seen it for yourself.
Karen would you be willing to share with other good people at home what it was like to be on the receiving
end of a breakthrough session of this nature and before you do.
I'll just just let the good folks at home know that when I first started delivering breakthrough sessions
I would sometimes sometimes take me three to half to four hours.
All right.
To get there has just been you know in recent years that I've become a lot more fine tuned a lot of
fine tunes.
I've become a lot more discerning and I'm just a better know asking the right questions and able to
discern and see what the what the right questions are to ask.
You're not necessarily going to get there right away.
Practice is what makes us apparently better and we will get better and sharper over time.
All right.
Hence reason it's fantastic to be part of our community who are all pretty much practicing and operating
in the same or similar modality.
So sorry.
Karen M. How did you find that breakthrough session.
What was it like for you from start through to the finish challenging.
Yeah it was started out quite light hearted and I was kind of thinking oh this is all right.
And then I went in for the kill.
Yeah.
You went in for the kill with that question is it.
Is it low confidence or is it apathy.
And that was like a dagger cut into me because immediately when you said that was.
Oh that's true.
There is apathy but to admit that on camera.
And yet even to myself is
what would be the word humbling humbling.
Yeah I guess I'll give you something to talk about in all of those grips Winter.
Yeah.
Now I get low com.
I'm assuming that the problem is low confidence is it's like oh it's just low confidence you know if
is you don't have to feel like I know I'm fully responsible for.
Well I'm Latina.
It's sometimes like low confidence and I have low confidence.
I have low self-esteem.
I am anxious.
I am.
This is kind of like that.
We can sometimes use these terms as scapegoats can we to avoid our own responsibility.
Yeah I'm intrigued as to how you could see that so clearly like it was apathy and not our response right.
Bear in mind all I'm really reflecting upon here and the different levels of consciousness.
All right remember when we're coach with people and it will take some time to get competent to this
all right.
But it the second we are able to identify that a client is operating and are all of victim or has done
at some point in the past.
We understand that an attitude of apathy walks hand-in-hand with a victim mindset.
This is just one of those truths.
So when you said when you give reference to obviously your dad died and you held back and you were waiting
for someone to notice you what I'm picking up on is just the attributes of someone who is operating
out of a victim mindset.
You were the hard done by one.
So for then it's just a case of me being Inspector Clouseau Aurora or Sherlock Holmes asking the right
questions to lead you to see what I could see which was the fact that if you're the victim and it means
there's been a perpetrator someone had left you.
Someone had heart here and it wasn't your mom who was in God's or society.
It was your dad all right.
Which meant that he was the bad guy.
He left the void in your life the void that you never took responsibility for filling through apathy.
It was a little confidence so I could see that it's all right.
But the breakthrough session and I had no idea what it was going to go was me asking the right questions
to provoke you to look and identify what was true for yourself.
It wasn't about me spell it aside I just want to offer a little bit of guidance here.
Apathy and when I asked this question I was going off a hunch right.
Sometimes we've got to trust our instincts here.
All right.
So it's not that I knew that it was definitely apathy because I've never walked a lifetime in current
shoes so I would know for certain.
But I was relatively certain and bearing in mind if I wasn't then current could have corrected me we
already had built the trust and we had the rapport going in the conversation anyway.
So even if it wasn't apathy Karen would have corrected me and hopefully then have been honest about
what it actually was.
But in the end we got there anyway.
I think I think what he says is true.
If there hadn't been that trust there between us then that question would have been could have been
devastating.
I was you know because my immediate response was Ouch.
No way.
That's not true.
What are you saying about me I'm going on the defensive here.
How dare you say that I was.
How dare you call me on my shit.
Yeah but I know that you're for me and I trust that you know you're here to help.
And so of course then you're encouraged to look at that later.
Okay.
The purpose of a breakthrough session until we've had this breakthrough until we've acknowledged was
actually holding our clients back.
All right.
There's no point in even looking at the goals.
No point in even acknowledging them.
All we've done here Karen for a current case here.
Apathy was the same as the chain and the picket was holding back that elephant.
Except we all know that it was really the chain and the picket was holding back the elephant.
It was the limiting belief that the elephant had developed that it wasn't strong enough for good enough
to break free from the pair going in the same way and the same way.
Curran will most likely develop the limiting belief at some point along the line something to do with
you are not suffice or Kay or good enough on your own without having a dad in your life.
Something like that might sound like a really tough conversation to be having but honestly it's only
conversations on this depth that allow and enable our clients to break through and the stage of life
that is possibly even held them stuck for four years.
Yeah Jan I've been aware of apathy in some other areas of life so this kind of fits that it is also
influencing some of the things that actually really want to be doing.
I'm not pushing myself.
So think about it think about bad habits just to give a bit of a crude example here.
It's not like bad habits only are only contained in one or two areas of our life.
They work themselves in all areas of our lives to give you a terrible example I was caught out a couple
of weeks ago so as you know is my wife.
I've got this terrible hubbub picking my nose so see the night time I could be sitting in front of the
TV with my feet up.
We pick up my nose to my heart's content all right.
I don't think nothing of it.
Well guess what I've got cold on em a few weeks ago when I was hosting a group coaching call online
that was around about 11 or 12 people and one of the ladies said Kane Ramsey is yeah.
Are you picking your nose.
Oh my goodness I got that comfortable and with a group of people that I was working with as the finger
went right up there and that was that.
So what I'm saying is until we kill a habit and replace it with something else it will continue to keep
on coming back to bite us.
All right.
So the purpose of the breakthrough session I'm hoping you're able to see is actually about identifying
what the habit of a lifetime is.
Once we've identified what the habit of a lifetime is we then want to get a plan in place for obviously
replacing it with something healthier and slightly more helpful.
Sounds like a plan.
Sounds like a plan Berman.
Fantastic.
Listen.
Hope you found this one interesting.
As I mentioned if you are a member of ecology then jump across into the breakout lounge the breaker
forum and then yeah invite one of our awesome community members to practice delivering a breakthrough
session on you and with you and for you and just have the experience yourself.
If not all right then why not get out there and just half an honest truth based conversation like this
with someone that you know love or care about.
It might be a child with a husband a wife a friend someone like that someone who you can see is just
a little bit stuck perhaps in a bit of a rut and a hole something like this and just have the conversation.
It's not about you trying to coach them it's not about you trying to advise them or trying to teach
them it's about you listening hearing and responding to what they say with questions that are just going
to simply draw out that which is true until you get started.
All right.
You're not going to become competent.
So the more practice you get the permanently better you will become.
I promise you I gave him a word breakthrough sessions are gonna be one of the most powerful tools you
can keep in your toolbox as breakthrough sessions that pretty much give us the foundation and the context
for the rest of the life coaching relationship you with me.
This all right.
So I'll be phone this one helpful and we'll look forward to seeing you again in the next clip.